Archives: Halo 5: Guardians Multiplayer

To Teabag or not to Teabag

I am back from the holiday hiatus! It took me quite a while to adjust into this new year and find a good rhythm but now I am here again and I want to talk about the teabag. The iconic disgracing of your killed opponent is done by a quick succession of crouch and stand on their body, preferably the head. Reminds you of dipping a tea bag into a cup, hence the word teabag. Just yesterday I was teabagged while playing an Arena Slayer match. I was furious. I felt like he had no right to do the teabag on me. He didn’t do anything great, just managed to kill me. I told my bf and he was like, ok who’s this piece of shit, we’ll teabag the shit out of him. We did exactly that. Like the worst douchebags we both teabagged this guy constantly. After the game I took a look at the stats and saw how much better we had been than him and his team. Then I felt really bad about our behavior. And it got me thinking about when teabagging is actually a valid and ok thing to do. Here is my opinion:

When it is ok:

  • When you defeat an opponent with a ground pound after he unsuccessfully tried it on you beforehand. Meaning whenever you defeat your opponent with his own ‚weapons‘. Not sure if I am making myself clear here.
  • When you kill a camper. Really, you can just sit on his face for a long while for all I care.
  • When you defeat a team of 4 with only 2.
  • When you are out of tactics and you want to try the ‚I’ll make you so mad you will run blindly into the fight‘ tactic.
  • When its your friend. After every kill if you want to.

I am not sure if teabagging is ok when you are not as good as your opponent, but finally manage to kill him. I don’t think it is…

I almost never teabag anyone really. I might do the punch on the body when I am very hyped about my skill and it was a close fight. When I think about it I only teabag when I was teabagged beforehand. What I really love though, is when you get teabagged and the dude is teabagging the ground next to you. Like come on! Do it right! ON THE BODY. ON THE BODY.

On that note: Happy teabagging folks.

P.S. Say teabag one more time, one more fucking time…

 

Map Rotation on Halo 5 – Plaza where are you?

I have two favorite Halo 5 Slayer maps: Plaza and Coliseum. I love both so much, but my all time favorite would be Plaza though. It plays perfectly. If I could play it that is. Somehow this particular map is hardly ever in my map rotation. Just yesterday my boyfriend and I played for maybe 2-3 hours. Guess what? Not once did we get to play on Plaza.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???

I miss my Plaza. Give me my Plaza.

September you can come – Anvil’s Legacy Update

September is going to be a great Halo month. Not only is Forge coming to Windows 10 PCs, but we also get the Anvil’s Legacy content update. That is going to be the 9th free update 343 is releasing. Which is pretty sweet. I also think that this update is the first one that we didn’t know of before. The last and biggest update was the Warzone Firefight one at the end of July.

The coolest thing to me is the Haven Remake map called Mercy. Have a look at some gameplay on it here:

Don’t you think it looks amazing? I think so! I loved Haven on Halo 4. Such a well made map. The remake is set on Sanghelios as you can very well see with the aesthetics. You have the Steampunk-ish optics, with a water stream and a fountain in the basement. And the huge claws/hands that are holding a slipspace portal kind of a thing, god, it just looks amazing.

The Warzone map Temple looks really good as well. But…wait a minute! What the actual fuck? Is this a Hunters Fuel Rod Cannon I just saw? Damn right it is. OMG, that is the coolest thing. I can’t wait to try it out.

Next to all the good stuff already revealed, Halo lore fans should mark their calendars on September 6th. 343’s ‚Mythos: A Guide to the Story of Halo‘ will be released on that date.

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And on September 20th another long awaited lore book will release. Halo: Fractures features several short stories from authors such as Troy Denning or Joseph Staten.

September please come! And bring some cold with you. It’s so hot here in Germany 🙂

Band of Brothers – Why are so many players quitting their games?

 

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What happened to our Band of Brothers?

Were we not supposed to stand by each other?

Help each other and fight next to each other?

We promised to leave no man behind.

To finish the fight.

And yet…

Every time I play a fucking game

Some random guy drops out.

Leaves like a pussy at the sight of defeat.

Who are you vermin?

Grow some balls Pedro!

Grab your rifle and start shooting your way out!

Seriously guys! What is happening to Halo 5’s multiplayer? People are dropping out of games like flies. The Banhammer does not strike hard enough I fear. Or these kids just don’t care. All they care about is their rank. Because that is the only explanation I have for that behavior. If they fear they might lose, they quit so that the game does not count. Ugh! That is just shitty. Last night I played alone against a full team. One by one my team mates dropped out and left my sorry bottom alone. I finished the fight and will continue to do so even if my rank goes down. Because what does a Diamond or Onyx rank mean, when it is acquired through quitting and unsporting behavior? Nothing.

The multiplayer experience is ruined for everybody in a game with quitters. It does not matter if you are on the full team or the one where people left. I personally don’t enjoy a game where my team plays against one with only 2-3 people. If that happens I just get bored and mess around. My favorite thing to do then is to explore the map. Or just jump across the map and see if anybody joins my shenanigans.

I want to play 4 vs 4. I want an honest fight.

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